Nelson Muntz, cue in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Sick of illegal fly-posting for concerts and other events in your neighborhood?

Sick of having to pay higher rates because of the expense to council in cleaning it up?

Try the solution that Glasgow Council came up with: pay council workers to slap “Cancelled” stickers on the illegal posters instead! Then sit back and watch the event promoters have to deal with confused ticketholders for days while new ticket sales grind to a halt.

A spokesman said it was hoped the move would send fans into a panic and bring chaos to the Rock Ness phone lines.

Colin Edgar, the council’s head of PR and marketing, added: “We expect that it will cause real difficulty for the advertisers.

“If the ordinary folk who have bought tickets think it is cancelled, they can get in touch with the promoters.

We want the life of the promoters to be made difficult and for fans to call them.

“If a member of the public is distressed, we regret that.

“However, the people who should be apologising are the people who are paying people to illegally fly-post the city centre.”

Cue the Wah-ambulance as the concert promoters say that the council is “mean-spirited”: poor babies.

Filed under: Politics, crass, music, performance

Discoballmouseatarians, I know where you should get your hair cut

In Sydney, anyway. I’m so taking Amanda from Pandagon there if she ever comes visiting Sydney.

A salon in an old shop/townhouse on Enmore Road. It has one side-wall purple, the other silver, miniature disco balls and purple-glitter boa-type streamers hanging everywhere, and halogen-blue fairy lights draped all round.

For the insufferable music snobs, there are arty hipster musician photos on the walls, of Siouxsie and Rick Ocasek and Tom Waits and bands I’ve forgotten the names of but who look damn cool. There are imported British music mags to read alongside the usual fash-mags and celeb-zines. When the Smiths CD finished playing, two staff members spent 5 minutes debating which CD should go on next (a compilation of tracks featuring superior bass guitar and drum work).

There are kitschy tchotchkes all over the place, and the staff’s personal styling aesthetics orbit around some hipster-goth-emo-punk zone. And they know how to cut hair properly! I now have a supoib layered long bob with a not-entirely-natural-looking deep burgundy rinse through it.

They did, unfortunately, want to know my star sign when I filled in the customer card, which means they only get 9/10 on the tigtog rating scheme. I’ll be interested to see what their resident astrologer makes of “Skeptical, with Curmudgeon rising”.

I’m not about to shill a business directly on the blog, but if this sounds like just the salon for you, chuck me an email and I’ll let you know its name

Filed under: Life, music

Ad hoc hoyden

This time around: Suzi Q.

On A Mailing List I frequent of which most members are USAns, we were having a long discussion of names and nicknames. Susan and its derivatives came up, which led to the discussion of Susie and how Suz, Suze and Suzi differed in the cute’n'perky factor. I mentioned Suzi Quatro/Leather Tuscadero to much blankness, which reminded me how I was astonished a few years ago to discover that Suzi Q never made it big in the States (biggest hit there was the duet Stumblin’ In with Chris Norman of Smokie).

Filed under: music, performance

You’d flinch too

if Christopher Walken did all his scenes with you after eating three cloves of garlic every morning.

This is how Walken manages to make his fellow actors so tense around him that on screen he appears to exude palpable menace, at least according to an anecdote related by Rupert Everett in a radio interview to promote Rupert’s new book (which I will probably read, because I’m a big fan of drollery, and the man is delightfully droll). Rupert is in Sydney to “ride in a big car with a gay cowboy”, as he described the official duties of Parade Marshal for the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras on Saturday night.

I don’t know whether to be delighted at the cleverness of Walken’s garlic trick or be disapointed that the menacing aura isn’t quite as real as it looks.

Filed under: music, performance

Sunday Songbook

Laurie Anderson – Beautiful Red Dress

lyrics below

Filed under: music

Control your jealousy

Next year, I will be paid to torture teenagers who want to win Australian Idol.

The tigling’s high school needs tutors who are willing to supplement the instruction given in the school music curriculum. It will only be a few hours a week, but it gets me back in touch with some training I’ve been missing using, and many of these kids, while oozing with talent, lack sound basic technique.

As I said over in comments at Kate’s place, where she just got offered a much more creative job:

I will be making teenage girls cry about how overornamenting their songs with twiddles is just laziness to disguise the lack of a fundamental breath technique, and that I expect them to hit a note cleanly and hold it, thanks. And don’t pop your plosives like that either, young lady.

I know that when they actually perform they will still use too much vibrato and add too many twiddles, because, gawdelpus, such rococo gingerbread icing on the vocal cake is currently commercial. But I’ll teach them how to sing without having to resort to that. They will also know how to articulate so that the lyrics are understood, dammit.

I owe it to Australia.

Filed under: education, music, peeves

*That* was exhausting

Just returned from an afternoon of centenary celebrations at a local landmark building. The theme was a sampling from what was going on in 1906, with readings from newspaper clippings (from all around the world, not just locally) and musical offerings, along with displays dotted around the building. People were asked to come in period dress.

I was asked to sing Land of Hope and Glory. I said yes, even though its been well over a year since I performed in front of any audience, performed anything. I wasn’t worried about my instrument (as we more pompous singers are wont to refer to our vocal apparatus) but I should have been a little more concerned with my crowd-readiness.

Filed under: Life, music, nostalgia, performance

Monster Mash: Frankenstein-Godzilla Lyrics Charity Challenge

We’ve got another charity comments challenge over at Larvatus Prodeo: Frankenstein-Godzilla Lyrics Charity Challenge.

It’s regular commentor j_p_z’s idea again:

It’s been a while since there was a good, funny contest around here.

Accordingly, I propose to donate to charity $25 per pop (for the first ten entries, up to $250) for anyone who can write the following:

Alter a stanza or lyric from a well-known pop song to include and topically accomodate either Frankenstein or Godzilla. Other movie monsters are acceptable too, provided the twist is remarkable enough to warrant one. (In other words, don’t get too easy! — and good luck using the Night of the Living Dead!)

He has more rules that must be followed to qualify for his donation to charity. There’s even a bonus $50 donation prize for the best version of Monster Mash, and also for the best version of a Dylan song.

Quite a few readers here who don’t normally comment at LP made sterling contributions to our last charity comments challenge. Please fly, my pretties, and make with the monsters.
(If you could crosspost your monster lyrics in the comments here, that would be great.)

Filed under: activism/charity, fun, interblog, music

Even death won’t save you from James Blunt

From a list of the UK’s most popular funeral songs:

1 – “Goodbye My Lover” – James Blunt

2 – “Angels” – Robbie Williams

3 – “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life” – Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley.

4 – “Wind Beneath My Wings” – Bette Midler

5 – “Pie Jesu” – Requiem

6 – “Candle In The Wind” – Elton John

7 – “With Or Without You” – U2

8 – “Tears In Heaven” – Eric Clapton

9 – “Every Breath You Take – The Police

10 -”Unchained Melody” – Righteous Brothers.

Selection number 9 just goes to show that some people never learn to actually listen to the lyrics. Poor old Sting is bemused enough already by people who insist on playing the song at their weddings, let alone funerals.

I’m trying to persuade mr tog that the Ding! Dong! song from the Wizard of Oz will lighten the mood nicely when my time comes, but he’s too much of a sentimental softie to go along.

Filed under: Life, music, nostalgia

tigtogmob at the Opera House

‘cos the tigling was having her debut performance there – as a member of the Sydney Region Combined Schools Chorus.

It was a fabulous showcase of public music education and the talented youngsters in our schools. Of special note were a 10 year old classical pianist and a 15 year old jazz trumpeter, both of whom probably have glittering careers awaiting them.

She was so excited and we were so proud. Special thanks to the lovely gentleman sitting next to me who swapped his seat so mr tog could have a better view of the section where our tigling was seated (there was a humungous suspended speaker blocking the view). His daughter played the saxophone beautifully.

Filed under: Life, education, family, music